Migraine Awareness: Finding Joy Even When Migraine Defines You

I hear ALL the time about not letting migraine or any other chronic illness define you. I’m sorry, but I think that is dumb. Seriously stupid. Chronic migraine has forced me to lose my career and several close relationships, and has changed how I see, fit into, and experience this world. It has also changed how people see me. It has taken away my ability to control my wanting to do what I want, when I want, within what my body and brain can handle. Migraine has forced me to endlessly pivot. That sounds pretty defining.

Thriving in Uncertainty

The trick for me is to still find a way to thrive in the uncertainty. Every single day I wake up, I decide that there will still be beauty, joy, love, laughter, and curiosity, regardless of my level of disability on that day. Don’t get me wrong, some days that is extremely HARD. I tell myself every day that I am here. I am alive. I am allowed to take up space. I am allowed to feel happy. I am allowed to love and be loved. I am intelligent even when the words can’t find their way from my brain to my mouth. I am creative even when my brain stops me from creating. I am valuable.

Do I Still Have Value?

For a moment, when I first went on disability, I did not feel that way. How we earn money has become such an integral part of our society that people view you as unworthy when you lose the physical and mental ability to do that. I internalized that. I did not know how to live without the identifier of a paid occupation. It was a terrible feeling to realize people do not value you as a human being if you do not contribute to society through a paid job. They view you as lazy and weak. They judge. And I felt every ounce of that judgment for a very long time.

There is a level of guilt about not contributing more money to my household. I am lucky that I get disability. I’m not sure what I would do if I didn’t. But being on disability means that I am disabled. And when you tell people you are disabled, they get a very certain look on their faces. It is the same look regardless of who is giving it. And it punched me in the gut every single time it came my way.

Living My Best Life

Through the years, I have been able to quiet that judgment, negativity, and guilt. It still creeps in every once in a while. This is especially true when my body limits my ability to participate in living the way people without chronic illness do. It takes a lot of mental gymnastics to keep those feelings at bay some days. But I manage to do so more often than not.

I find my joy. I laugh. I take up space. I love. I cherish my relationships with family and friends. I relish every beautiful experience of living that I can. My wish for all of you, whether you live with migraine or any chronic illness, is to live YOUR best life. Not what anyone else thinks that is, but what you make it into for yourself. What makes you happy? Do that! Chronic illness may make your wingspan less, but your wings are not clipped; you can still spread them and soar.

And when soaring feels impossible, glide and look at the magnificent view!

Let Us Know

Has migraine shaped your identity, defined you? Are you able to still find joy despite your health challenges? What does “living your best life” mean to you personally? And, when soaring feels impossible, how do you find your way forward?