Do you ever feel embarrassed about your struggle with migraine in college? I felt this way throughout most of my college career. It never struck me as something that I needed to make a big deal about, especially to friends. It was just pain, as far as I was concerned, and not something I usually had to address. WRONG – I should have known better! Especially being raised by someone who struggled with migraine her entire life. But still, it was easier most of the time not to worry about it. Sure, over-the-counter medication didn’t work for the pain, but maybe if I took it enough, I’d be fine?! I wasn’t going to let headaches stop me from going to parties, hanging out with friends, or drinking as I pleased. I was sure everyone else got headaches from time to time, too. Clearly, it wasn’t stopping them!
A Toxic Headspace
It’s easy to get stuck in a toxic headspace surrounding your own disability, especially with an invisible disease like migraine. It sucks when something as seemingly simple as a “headache” gets in the way of living your life. This is never more true than when you’re in college. This can lead to you ignoring it and letting it worsen over time, while you continue to insist on not taking care of yourself. Honestly, it took me time to get out of these habits, but that’s definitely easier said than done.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Young men, especially college-aged ones, are notoriously wild and invincible. They seemingly have the ability to walk off any injury or stay up all night drinking and then ace an exam early the next morning! This can be intimidating, particularly when you’re living alongside them. It’s easy to want to push yourself to do these things also, even when you don’t feel like it or know that you will pay for it afterwards. The truth is, you know what’s best for you better than anyone, and knowing your own limits is really important. As hard as it is to live this out, a bit of social pressure is NOT a good reason to put your own health at risk.
What if you stay up all night drinking before an exam and are hit with a migraine that only gets worse the following morning? Sure, your friends are hungover and also dealing with the same test, but the experience for someone handling a massive migraine attack is significantly worse. It’s important to remind yourself that it’s okay to do things differently. You might not be able to get as wild and crazy as some of the other folks around you. You may have to say “no” or make an excuse to your friends. However, even if there are things you cannot do, there are plenty of other ways to enjoy yourself with your friends. Choices where you don’t need to make unhealthy choices. Here are three quick tips on how to stay connected with others while living with migraine in college:
Tip #1: Don’t Let Others’ Attitudes Affect Yours
As someone with migraine, there’s no doubt you’ll run into people who don’t take your illness seriously. Try as you might to communicate with them about it, many people’s attitudes just won’t budge. Don’t feel the need to evangelize everyone you meet about migraine. It’s ok to be selective about who you talk to. More importantly, don’t let their tendency to downplay migraine affect your own view of it.
Tip #2: Know Your Own Boundaries
Know your own boundaries when you’re struggling with a migraine attack, and be firm about your needs. That also applies for when making decisions about activities or behaviors that may trigger an attack. Don’t push yourself further than you need to in order to try and make others approve of you. True friends will respect your boundaries and be okay with your limitations.
Tip #3: Go Easy On Yourself
It’s easy to think less of yourself when it seems that you don’t “size up” to others around you. This is particularly true in college where you’re surrounded by other people in the same phase of life. One of the biggest favors you can do for yourself is to practice self-forgiveness. Remember, you have no control over living with migraine, only with your attitude towards it! Allowing migraine disease to make you frustrated in your inability to function “normally” is unfair to your own mental wellbeing. Mental health often suffers in those with chronic illness, especially in the areas of anxiety and depression. So instead of judging yourself, try being patient with yourself. Learn to be okay with not being okay. If you can learn this practice early, it’ll make managing your migraine attacks far easier as you grow past college and into the rest of the world.
Let us know…
Are you a college aged young adult who struggles with migraine? How do you communicate to others about how you experience migraine? Do you have a support system in place to make it easier to manage? What is the hardest thing about having migraine in college?